I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
