Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
