i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
