im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm like, not good at living.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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