Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
