Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
