HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
