thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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