So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just forgot I was standing up.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize