Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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