i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize