And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
