So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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