I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
