I bet he comes in French.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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