you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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