Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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