my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
