it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
be right there i have to get my cape
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
