I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
