I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
