I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
