maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
