she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
