Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
