Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
