He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
