Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
