But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
