Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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