I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
