I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
