she smelled like a LAN party
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
