Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
