Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
