Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i would punch a child for taco bell
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize