i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
