Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
