she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
