I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
