There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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