I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
