i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
