I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
