i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
