Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
