wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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