Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize