Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The air was thick with penises
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
