All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
