this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
