Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
accomplished twins. life is a go
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
