He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Send help, water and tortillas.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
