You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
