What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
