porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
