My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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