Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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