her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
