Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You're like the curious george of whores
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize