so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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