I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
