she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
