If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
